Trudging Ahead....

I remember what it felt like as a little girl trying to walk in deep snow. It was hard and my legs would get tired so quickly. I was slow and the grown ups were walking so fast. No matter how hard I tried I wasn't quick enough. So they would gripe and then pick me up and carry me.

Tomorrow is my 46th birthday and I am not a little girl anymore. Yet I am trudging forward just the same. Day in and day out struggling forward with no particular destination in mind. People still call me slow and gripe, but no one picks me up anymore.

I am too big to carry now, but it would be nice to have someone walking beside me. I tried dating, but it was not very kind to me. It's time to accept the fact that I am better off alone. enough time, heartache and tears have been wasted on people who just hurt and let me down.

The joys of life are all around me, if I take the time to see them. The internet holds information on everything and anything under the sun. Art, music, poetry, history ... anything that I want to learn about is at the tips of my fingers. A banquet for the mind, heart and soul.

The simple fact is that I don't fit in with 99% of the people out there. I admit to being kind of proud of that. Too many people have lost touch with the things that matter most. By that I mean compassion, kindness and in general being decent to their fellow human beings.

I think it's because of our instant gratification addiction. No one has the patience to wait for anything. We ride everywhere, eat at the drive thru, text, e-mail and never really see our neighbors the check out clerks or anyone else as real people with real lives. I miss the old days when people said hello and your Doctor knew your name and looked at you not their laptop.

Old fashioned and out of date as all of this may seem, it is the memories of better days for me.
So let the world run ahead of me, telling me I am too slow. The pace I move at is just right for me. Moving slower means I will not get anywhere fast, but I will enjoy the journey more.