Winning scares me.

"Winners never quit and quitters never win."

I know how to quit. I have done it all my life. Marriage, learning to crochet, swim, ride a bicycle and many other things. Giving birth to my son is one thing I did finish. He pretty much gave me no option on that one. lol

Quitting is my friend. Winning on the other hand scares me. I can encourage other people on to victory and I do so every chance I get. I honestly don't want to win. It's easier to quit all the time then to win some of the time. Trying and failing sucks.

I lack faith in myself. I believe that I don't deserve the things that others seem to take for granted in life. I am a cheerleader on the sidelines . I can praise and encourage others it makes me feel useful. When they compliment me for something I do , or how I look I think they are just being nice.

I don't see the good things about myself that others say exist. I see a quitter; an overweight plain woman who talks too much and says nothing. Nice to know but, you would be ashamed to introduce to your family and your "real friends".

If I expect nothing out of life I won't ever be disappointed. By clinging to that belief I set myself up for failure every time . I am working on learning to see myself in a different way. This blog is becoming a way to accomplish that and it has already helped me be happier in my daily life.

If I can see it ,then I can do it
If I just believe it , theres nothing to it...