Relief

I wanted a pair of Levis when I was a girl. An 18 inch waist was my dream. I wanted to wear tight jeans with the tag on the back for all to see. My hips and curves got in the way of all that. Some times in life just wanting something is not enough. It's not like as simple as ordering a burger and fries at the drive thru.

Today I am facing that fact in regards to my failure in finding someone to share my life. We all faces challenges in relationships. Challenges can draw a couple together or split them up. Manic Depression is not a big challenge it is huge.

People like me are not hidden away anymore like a crazy Aunt. Depression is a common diagnosis now days. People know it exists , but don't understand it very well. Their opinions that are not based on facts ,only on biased opinions.

People avoid that which they fear. Things that we don't understand scare us. Fear and ignorance are the main reasons that people like me fail at relationships. I am working on accepting the fact that I will probably always be alone. It is certainly not the end of the world. It is just a change in plans.

Letting go of my desires for a home with all the trimmings is not painless. My heart mourns for the death of that dream. At the same time, I also feel a big sense of relief. I can put down the burden of trying to fit in and just be me. I don't have to try to please anyone but myself. I can do whatever I want. Yay ! for me.

Wants, dreams, hopes, desires are all good things. Sometimes they are quite realistic and sometimes they are totally impossible. Things are not always what they appear to be.The challenge lies in telling them apart.

Consider the quote below for a moment. It may help you see thing differently

“Remember that not getting what you want
is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.”
~ Dalai Lama ~