Hurt

I hurt myself today

To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real.

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away In the end ....

I am alone once again. I know I am better off this way. People scare and confuse me. I don't understand why they do the things they do. So many people have lied to me and hurt me , that I don't know what the truth is anymore.

Broken promises of phone calls, coffee dates and all the rest. Are they lies , pretense, or just lack of respect for my feelings. I don't know which it is , all I do know it that it hurts very much. If my pain matters to them it sure doesn't show.

I belong alone here in this bedroom. I can't trust anyone but myself. Those are the cold hard facts. Everyone else will hurt and disappoint me. I am like a weak animal in the herd. The stronger predators will always attack the weakest one. Except they do it for survival. People hurt each other just for the fun of it.

That's why alone is safer for me. In here the world can't hurt me anymore.