Pain is inevitable suffering is not (HHDL)

We often add to our pain and suffering by being overly sensitive, overreacting to minor things, and sometimes taking things too personally. We tend to take small things too seriously and blow them up out of proportion, while at the same time we often remain indifferent to the really important things, those things which have profound effects on our lives and long-term consequences and implications.

So I think that to a large extent, whether you suffer depends on how you respond to a given situation. (HHDL)

Each time I can stop or decrease my suffering makes it a bit easier to do so the next time. I still forget sometimes and then I fall into my old way of suffering and making things worse.

Here is one way I have practiced this principle for myself. One day I was getting my hair colored. As I sat there my back began to hurt. My first response was " Oh no , we just started, what am I gonna do, the pain is gonna get worse and worse if I sit here, I can't do this !!! "

Then I took a deep breath , relaxed and focused on the pain just as it was. Not as I thought it would be. Once the tension in my body eased I was able to see that the pain was not so bad. The pain eased too and I finished my appointment and was on my way relatively pain free.

I know that I can't stop painful things from happening to me. No one can do that, but we all wish we could. My response is what I can control. Pain is inevitable , suffering is not.

Reality is what we see with our eyes. But sometimes what we see or feel does is not fact or reality. Like that back ache I had. It could have ruined my whole day. If I had chosen to think about all the bad things that could have happened it would have. Instead I looked at it just as it was. By taking away all the other thoughts I changed my day for the better.

I don't want to become a Buddhist by the way. All I do want is to do is find tools to help me cope with my life. This blog is a way of sharing my search , my successes and my failures too. It also helps me to keep focused on my goal and to reinforce the things that I am learning.