Victory

Last night I was strong and it felt really good and still does. It all started with the words "How r u ?" Innocent enough but painful for too many reasons to list.

It was someone that I met on Face book that lives 1000 miles away. We were considered a couple for a bit. Some stuff happened and now I am trying to distance myself from him for the good of us both. It was so tempting to just pretend that nothing had changed between us. It would have been so easy to do that. Instead I chose let the past stay where it belongs and resist temptation.

Missing the present by mourning the past does no good at all. The past is gone, the present is here and the future is yet to come. Sounds simple, but it never is.

People are creatures of habit and I am no different from the rest. Some habits are good for us. Like brushing our teeth every day. It's not fun or exciting ,but we do so because it is good for our health. Other habits are self destructive like over eating or staying in bad situations instead of leaving them behind.

Last night I felt sorry for him. We both miss the good times we shared. I did not want to hurt him by saying "get lost" or worse. That is another bad habit from my past. Trying to ease my own pain by lashing out and hurting the other person. I used to think that hurting them would make my pain stop. The truth is it just made me more miserable than I was before. Revenge is a 2 edged sword.

This time was very different in a positive way. I did not let my emotions get out of control. I did not get angry and say nasty things, nor did I cry. I did not blame him nor myself for anything that had happened between us. I just accepted it.

I was polite and brief with my responses. I took my time, thought things through and remained calm. Here's to this victory and all the ones yet to come.