Can anyone see me standing here alone ? Can anyone hear my cries for help ? Maybe they do , but have all turned their back and closed off their ears ? I wish I could do that, but I can't.
My mind won't let me dismiss others like they do me. I can't walk away from someone in pain just because it would be easier than getting involved. Is it fair that no one does that for me ? Let me answer that question with a question ? How often is anything in life fair ?
Since no one is rushing to my side, there is only 2 other choices. The first is to give up. Just curl up in bed and refuse to budge. I could get some sleeping pills or something to knock me out . I have done this before. Not only did I escape the pain, I also lost weight. Win-Win situation.
The other choice is to stop thinking about being rescued by that damn white knight who is incredibly overdue and to decide to live my life by my rules and learn to be happy alone.
So, I have decided to study Buddhism. It is my hope that it will help me find peace. I don't expect a miracle or anything . Mostly what I want to do is learn how to cope with stress and anxiety better. Also I hope to be able to create for myself a happier and peaceful life.
So this is my plan. It will take time and more study than I can even imagine. That doesn't scare me at all. In fact it sounds really, really good. *** EVER FORWARD ***
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