OK

Sometimes it's ok to admit to yourself that your life is not the way you had imagined it would be.
Sometimes you have to accept that even if you want something badly, it will never happen.
Sometimes you have to let go of people and things in order to move on with your life.
Sometimes things happen to you that you will never understand no matter how long you live.

Today I said goodbye to a man I had a very confusing friendship with. It wasn't easy and I wish I didn't have to do that. I care for him in a way I can't explain, because I don't really understand it myself. Too many times he has disappeared from my life. Too often have I needed to talk to him and not been able to call him because of reasons that are not relevant to this blog.

I have realized something about myself that I should have known long ago. People and relationships make me miserable. I can't take all the emotional upheaval that comes with interacting with others. The people like me are called "loners". I like to talk with people , but only on a casual level. I don't feel sad or pity myself because of this. It's not something I would have chosen for myself, but I can live with it. For companionship and affection I have my little rescue dog "Lilac" she accepts me just as I am good days, bad days and all the rest.

My life may not be glamorous and I will never be rich, famous or beautiful. The one thing I can have is self acceptance. No , I am not like everyone else. Actually I am really glad about that. Because I would rather see the world through my eyes and live my life according to my conscience than pretend to agree with the crowd. I am not a blind follower, I am a person with a mind and a heart. No one else is like me.... and that is what makes me able to walk alone.